Side-step cancer

Six steps to side-stepping cancer

Let it lingerie
As if the act itself of jumping on the good foot and doing the bad thing wasn’t reason enough, there is now a cast-iron argument for consistent conjugal rights. According to the Cancer Council of Victoria in Melbourne, men who ejaculate most between the ages of 20 and 50 are least likely to develop prostate cancer, that nether-region nasty being the largest threat to an adult male’s health. Guys who ‘cleaned the pipes’ more that five times a week were 33% less at risk of prostate tumours, so you’re going to have a few tricks up your sleeve if you’re planning on screwing cancer that often. A fancy box full of the finest frilliness should work for a while at least. After that you’re on your own.

Sweet and sauer
It’s as German as frankfurters, obsessive organisation and slapstick humour and it sounds like Helmut Kohl in a bad mood, yet a serving of sauerkraut with your dinner is just the thing to give cancer the zwie-fingered salute. A study by the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry into the health benefits of the pickled cabbage concluded that it is a stern cancer inhibitor. The fermentation of the cabbage produces a substance called isothiocyanate, a compound which has been found to prevent the growth and spread of cancer, particularly in the colon, lung and liver. The study found the ‘kraut to be stricter against the spread of the disease than raw or cooked cabbage, so if you’re serious about dodging the odds make sure you go Deutsch at dinner.

Get a head-break
Phones used to be phones; they rang, you picked up because you didn’t know who was calling, and then you put it down and walked away. These days, however, the wafer thin slice of wizardry is always with you, and men spend more time on their phones than ever. Unfortunately, too many minutes with your radiation magnet stuck to your face can damage more than your bank balance. The American Journal of Epidemiology found that those who used their phone several hours a day were more likely to develop cancers, with people talking more than average a worrying 50% more at risk of salivary gland tumours. Leaving the dangerous device on the side and picking up a piece of Bluetooth, Bakelite history will give your head a rest from the radiation and let you speak easy.

Blinds wide shut
Being stirred by the morning sun may seem unlikely at the murky end of the calendar, but artificial and natural light in the evening or morning can interrupt the production of melatonin, a hormone which regulates sleep patterns, protects our immune system and according to work at the University of Texas Department of Cellular and Structural Biology inhibits the growth of many types of cancer cells, especially prostate. Researchers found that even the meekest of light can stop the pineal gland from releasing melatonin into the blood, so blocking out the blinding shine will keep you sleeping soundly, feeling healthy and out of the shadow of the Big C.

Having a skin-full
Just because the beach bag has been long banished to the recesses of the loft doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dust off your summer skincare routine. According to Cancer Research UK, skin cancer is the most common form in the UK, with 72 000 cases reported last year. One third of that number were under 50, young adults between the ages of 15-34 were most likely to develop the disease and although women are at double the risk of melanoma, us men are more likely to die from it. A moisturiser with added SPF 15 protection will keep your skin, clean, fresh and blissfully free of burns and blisters whether you’re in enjoying the rays in St Tropez or the rain in St Helens.

Whey to go
Much like Hannibal from the A-Team, we love it when a plan comes together and, as it happens, your fitness and nutrition plan could already be giving cancer the heave-ho. According to recent research your post-workout portion of protein not only increases your muscles measurements like it’s supposed to, but it gets big on the not-so-big-C for good measure. The Arkansas Children’s Research Institute found that whey protein works to protect healthy cells while attacking cancerous ones. If you’re not shaking it up already, then a bespoke blend of protein powder will get you lifting more, shrugging off cancerous cells by selectively depleting them of glutathione and increasing levels of the tripeptide in the honest-to-goodness ones. Best not to light up one of Hannibal’s cigars to celebrate though.

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